Nikki’s story
There is a photo of me as a schoolgirl, a star student with a list of achievements. Yet I remember feeling deeply alone and unhappy.
For decades I clung to life the way one would to the back of a fast-moving car. Painfully scraping along the tarmac, knuckles white, tightly clenched in fear and struggling to hold on. I was a master at surviving, but living was beyond me.
Twenty-five, and out of road
By the time I was 25 I was a heroin addict who had faced several near-death experiences and continued to chase my addiction through rehabilitation centres across continents. I was a divorced mother of two, completely alienated from family and friends, bound by a string of toxic relationships with a messy trail of destruction I had to face alone.
My blessing was that I was also a convicted criminal facing a prison sentence.
“I had been sober for six years before being sentenced, so I had mastered the art of survival. It was living that was beyond me.”
The truth is I hated myself. My self-loathing ran so deep that addiction, desperation, betrayal and crippling anxiety were all just part of my normal. The penny dropped in prison, where it was not about getting clean anymore. I realised that living my life for other people had become unsustainable, and that nobody could ever give me what I had been craving all along: the love I had never had for myself.
A self-esteem course, in prison
“My life began to transform with me at the wheel. Slowly, steadily and significantly.”
A random self-esteem course I took in prison became the catalyst for a profoundly life-changing journey. I learned not only how powerful I could be in my own life, but that I had the right to choose how I wanted that life to be. How I wanted my relationships to work. Where I wanted to succeed.
Developing my self-esteem saved my life, my heart, and my very soul, and it continues to save me today through the challenges I face.
That course is the reason the Golden Key Programme exists.
Deciding what to do with it
“I decided to dedicate my life to helping others find their freedom.”
After working extensively in addiction treatment, I realised the power of self-development is so all-encompassing that I decided to dedicate my life to helping others find their freedom. Not only from addiction, but from the prisons created by their own self-doubt and negative belief systems.
I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. My story speaks of loss, grief, anxiety, theft, and desperation, but it also resounds with hope, change, growth, and the healing I found. These experiences are not unique to me. They are part of being human. They are for all of us.
“Today I am living my best life, curated by none other than me.”
I have a healthy and loving relationship with myself and two well-adjusted teenagers. My life experience has become my life’s work: helping other people change a stuck narrative, as I did for my own.
“Recognising your true value and worth in the world is possible. All you need is courage and commitment to explore your full potential.”
We all share different versions of the same story, and everyone’s is unique. It is my purpose to help you find yours. I invite you to permit yourself to join me in this pursuit.
I wrote it all down
The full story is in my memoir, FRAUD. It is an account of the years before, during and after prison, and of what it took to come out the other side.
If any of this sounds familiar
Most people who read this are not reading it out of curiosity. If any of it is close to home, for you or for somebody you love, there is somewhere to start.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Nikki in recovery herself?
Yes. Nikki has been in recovery since December 2008 and writes about it openly.
Did Nikki really go to prison?
Yes. She writes about the arrest, the sentence and what changed there in her memoir, FRAUD.
What is the Golden Key Programme’s connection to this story?
The self-esteem course Nikki took in prison was the catalyst for her own recovery. The Golden Key Programme is the model she developed from that experience, with her mentor, and now teaches.